Saturday, April 02, 2011

Please Don't Eat The Daisies

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Urban Outfitters house dress, gifted flea market collected charm bracelet, See by Chloe boots, and daisies. 
So... break ups are hard. It happened yesterday, and it's especially difficult when you feel like you were trying to fix it and everything had only been really bad the past week, and you try to help him see the light at the end of the tunnel. Afterward, I blamed myself, found myself at fault for everything. I did a lot of self-damage. I got home and sat down on the couch, I didn't know where to go from there, what to do, what the hell is next? He'd been a part of my life for 5+ months. I didn't want homework or ice cream or American Idol. I didn't know what the next step was. Being single sucks, but I couldn't imagine myself with anyone but him.
After waking up from a nightmare about him at 6:50 a.m. this morning, I sat down on the floor of my bedroom and cried for some time. I just couldn't believe it was the end. How he could just end it, just like that? It felt so... unfinished. But then I got up and spent the next hour going through my closet and purging myself of all the unwanted clothes I had and filled two trash bags full. I took a shower. I watched two movies (The Producers and The Odd Couple) and went to a piano lesson where my very funny and very literal teacher told me "No more boys for a while." My mother bought me two sets of flowers, including the daisies I'm holding, since in You've Got Mail (our favorite movie, Ive watched a million times) Meg Ryan professes her love towards daisies to Tom Hanks, saying "They're the friendliest flower." Then I put on this outfit and went and saw Suckerpunch with a good group of friends. I thought about the conversation he and I had had ten days earlier about going to see it. He was on a continuous loop of flashbacks in my head that I couldn't turn off. After the movie we all went to dinner, and I told my friends the full breakup story and they were all there for me: threatening to egg his house, damage his car, "ninja his ass", and more stuff like that.

Now Im here, writing this, and I feel better. Way better. It reminded me of the beauty of people and camaraderie and spending time with friends, not just your significant other, whom Id found myself caught up in recently.

The breakup was a huge slap in the face, and over the last 30+ hours Ive had time to self-reflect and see the destructive path I had been traveling on, which I wont go into. Ill just say this: I was unhappy, I was eating ice cream everyday, excessively shopping. I gained five pounds. But now this happened yesterday in March, and today its April, and its time to turn over a new leaf. My horoscope says to sever all ties to relationships that aren't working this month. And so I miss him, and his quiet quirks and affinity for electronic music, but its for the best. I have more time to work on the blog, play piano, take acting classes, finish that script I've been writing, read more books, balance my chakras, and take time to find myself again.

What I learned was that communication is the key to relationships, and if there is no talking, there is nothing. Maybe writing this will prove hurtful in the long run if one of his friends reads this, (Ben, stop reading, you have him all to yourself now, okay?), especially since part of me still wants to be back with him, (and I kinda feel like Jesse Eisenberg in the Social Network right about now) but I felt like my lovely readers should understand whats going on, and join me in starting on a new blank page.

Now excuse me, Ive got to go watch James Franco on The Late Show talk about the human instinct to survive, because hey, he is one good looking man, in a sea of very available fish out there... that I am just starting to dive in to.


97 comments:

Raspberry Jam said...

Lovely photos!

Love your dress!

http://sweetraspberryjam.blogspot.com/


XOXO

The Serial Dresser said...

hey, I know it's beyond banal and all.. but there is someone better for you out there, and you'll find him when the time is right!

and you look lovely. daisies are my favorites. :)

Lubna said...

I'm so terribly sorry about what happened, and I had always imagined what it would be like to actually break up, and sometimes I reach anger points where I just don't want my boyfriend anymore, but then I think about how miserable I might become right after a break up.

I know it's hard, very hard to go through, and there's so many things that may be going through your mind, like the 'what ifs' and 'but' and whatnot, but just know, that your talent for making amazing outfits and your wit will do you so much more benefit than any boy.

Stay strong, go out with your friends, enjoy your time, and just let it be something of the past like you mentioned. Don't waste your time upsetting yourself and deeply thinking about everything, and we'll just hope you get over it completely soon. =)

I gave you a Stylish Blogger Award if that makes you feel any better? =(

Lubna | elle VOX

LUU H. said...

break ups is always hard. My ex broke up for 4 motnhs ago, and I still have love sorrow.

Anonymous said...

Break-ups are never easy, but like Carrie said in an episode of SATC: "The most important breakup rule, no matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends."

You'll be okay. X

Caddy said...

Break ups are hard! I hope you feel better soon.

Vasilieva said...

adore that dress and the pictures are so much fun

http://elenavasilieva.blogspot.com/
x

Chiara Biasi said...

LOVELY!
The bracelet is so cool...


http://www.thegoldenmode.com/

Tayler said...

aw so very sorry that it ended up like this, kinda reminds me of me a few years back in high school, we all know what its like!
on the brightside, you look fab and you have freinds and family!

www.styleinterplay.com

Louise said...

Break-ups suck. But your outfit here is awesome. I hope that you'll feel better soon and with James Franco to keep you company I don't see how you won't. :)

QueenVII said...

It sounds like you are doing all the right things to help yourself. It is not selfish to put your own happiness first. Only YOU live YOUR life... make it count... make it happy.

Donatella said...

lovely post smile you are beatiful:) xx

Reckless Rekha. said...

you are so beautiful. Agreed plenty more fishes out in the sea. it's perfectly normal for you to feel like shit but everything falls into places in time.

Yes James Franco is one hot shizz. your readers will always be here to share your pain and happiness lovely <3

Charlie, Feminine Bravery said...

Reminds me of two and a half years ago when I broke up with my ex fiancée. It was really rough on me even though I knew it was for the better. I couldn't even eat solid food for several days, and it didn't exactly help that I had three jobs at the time and was studying to get into university as well.

The point? Do what I didn't - take time for yourself, sit down and cry your heart out. Sleep. SLEEP A LOT. Let yourself mourn the past relationship, that's the only way you can ever enter a new one. First take care of yourself, after that it's all easier. :)

Love the outfit and the photos, darling!

Rosalinda Tjioe said...

Gorgeous you're so pretty :)) Great pictures!

xx
http://rosalindatj.blogspot.com

Cocomathilde said...

SO cute! xxx
clara
cocomathilde.blogspot.com

Rena said...

I love the daisys and the dress. And I applaud your healthy attitude.

louisiana mei said...

breakups are difficult but you are such a strong lady for thinking about the positives and trying to move away from that time so fast. i really admire you. he's gonna be mad at himself later on for losing such a beautiful (inside and out!) and wonderful girl like you.

scarlet's walk said...

love the boots! sorry about your break up

The Fancy Teacup said...

I'm so sorry hun, to hear about the breakup and the difficulty and shock you are going through. You are beyond beautiful, are truly talented in what you do, and you have time on your side for plenty more chances to meet the best kind of guy for you. You will soon look back at this as just another stepping stone to get you where you will be. He doesn't know what he is missing out on.

I love the darling dress and the flea market charm bracelet. The flowers your mom got you are so pretty; she's such a sweetheart.

www.TheFancyTeacup.com
much love.

Jessie said...

i love the see by chloe combat boots, i contimplated buying these myself last season, but ended up not. kinda disappointed. they are hot shoes.

http://wordbyjessie.com

Mia said...

You look beautiful in your photos. It sounds as if upon reflection your break up was the best thing for you both. You have a great group of friends too by the sounds of it x

Steffys Pros and Cons said...

i adore your dress, and the daisies are just lovely!

Steffys Pros and Cons

Raffles Bizarre said...

Stunning photos, I particularly love your amazing boots!!

Aubrey said...

It's amazing how universal breakups are. I have experienced and felt all the same feelings you are through now. It takes a while to sort out and you'll feel like crap some days and really awesome other days. My best friend gave me some advice when he said, "You'll wish there was a calendar that would tell you which days you'll feel bad so you can prepare but there's not so you have to make due."
So I guess what I'm getting at is that you have to stay strong. And not because it's what you should do, it's what you have to do. There's no other choice. Continue to live your life and do things for yourself, keep busy. It's so weird how we lose ourselves in relationship and "finding" yourself again is great because it shows you how strong you are.
Anyway, just know that support exists everywhere even in really unlikely places. (like random blog readers!) <3

A Tablespoon Of Life said...

Wow, this was so great to read. Thank you for sharing this with us and I hope that you find ways to keep your mind busy from any thoughts that might lead you back to that "what did I do wrong" stage. You didn't do anything wrong, he was just not the right one for you. And I know that will take some time to accept. I went through a breakup not so long ago and it hurt. It really did. But everyday you will think less of him and more of what you can do today to find yourself again. Keep focused on what the day has planned out for you now. Today.
You are beautiful and incredibly stylish. And have a handful of readers who are here for you too! you'll get through this rough patch :) be positive about this. Everything really does happen for a reason.

Juillet Clair said...

pretty dress !
cool boots :D


juilletclair.blogspot.com

Dylana Suarez said...

Your boots are so amazing!

xoxo,

colormenana.blogspot.com

The Fall said...

i LOVE those boots sooo much, and sorry to hear that :(

i'm not stylish said...

i always wait the day when you will tell everyone what's your name<3 i love the bracelet and the boots. these so awesome and very nice. keep inspiring everyone!

hope you could visit me
http://imnotstylish2.blogspot.com

The Minx said...

you're handling something that can be so messy with a lot of grace and clear-headedness. Kudos to you, I'm sure you'll continue living your life in the best way possible, and will find someone amazing when you're least expecting it :)

(Also, your boots are fantastic)

the sparkling dust said...

no breakups are easy but sometimes we have to put aside the pain, because you, you deserve to be happy, you deserve someone who can make you happy.
Be happy sweety and I bet that guy is the one who's gonna regret to let go a girl like you :))

M & Em said...

I'm sorry Hun... Things really do get better with time. You will be happy again someday, with someone else. He lost quite a catch. :)

xoxo
Em

P.S.
Your shoes are freakin' awesome.

thefashionguitar said...

Your shoes are A M A Z I N G and you jumping in your pics is a great success, always!!

Have a lovely weekend!

xo thefashionguitar

paulinabelle said...

So sorry you have to go through this dear, it can be so awful. You are strong and I'm so glad you're doing better. Doing things that make you happy and keeping your spirits high always makes it less hard! Love your shoes by the way.

Nina said...

I am sorry to hear about your breakup :( I have had that too and i know how it feels.

You look fabulous and keep your chin up ♥

FASHION ICE said...

omg those are amazing!!

Diana said...

so sweet!

Laura said...

Breakups are so incredibly hard, but I'm glad your feeling better,and have such a good support group. Plus I totally love your outfit.

Claire said...

Lovely sweet and adorable outfit, I'd never of guessed that you've just been through such a hard time by your photos.
Sorry to hear about it, but life will go one, things will get better. :)
www.notimeforchitchat.blogspot.com

fiona said...

I love the fifth photo. You look sad, but patient and calm.. as if this painful experience has given you some peace and wisdom. And with the daisies in focus, you are drawn to the happiness and life in front of the somewhat melancholy girl.

Beautiful dress, beautiful eyes. Keep it up.

Elizabeth said...

very sweet post, and i'm sorry for what happened! but your outfit is lovely and you are gorgeous.

http://nothingbutapackofcards.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

it takes courage to reflect on something that you'd rather not think about. for what it's worth, it does get better. :) take care!
p.s that dress is sublime!

Indiana Munn said...

Love the daisies and your dress.

www.toindigo.nlogspot.com

Catherine said...

I admire you.
I went through this in March, but of a boyfriend/best friend of almost 18 months. It was hard, but I remember thinking some of the same things you wrote.

Don't tear yourself apart, you are wonderful, and best of luck.

Anna said...

Aww hon, I feel for you. As long as you got friends and family, you're going to be good :)
You're so young! There's so much time to find a better guy out there and I know you will.

Cathy said...

Love this!!!!!!
http://www.cathykhayes.blogspot.com

Catherine said...

you look really sweet-wow, I was always the "dumper" and now see it from your perspective, wow. Whatever you do, don't let it get at you

Kayla said...

You look very pretty! :)
xx

heydoll16.blogspot.com

CaRiiToO said...

Firstly, I LOVE your bracelet and your boots, and ADORE your dress!

Secondly, life will go on... even if it hurts... I hope you feel better soon!

Lots of luck!

Beauty Spectacle said...

Nice Shoes!
Amazing pics.

http://brillenmode.blogspot.com

EMILY said...

I know exactly how it feels :( but I love the way you've written about it and your mentality. it's also good to have good friends like that.
and! I love love love the outfit post !
xx

Camilla. said...

You write about this so maturely and frankly, and I think it's normal to have a few Ben and Jerry pig out days before you get back on track, although a lot of people don't realize that they are on a destructive path and it's really admirable to see that you saw that. I think what you've written will keep me grounded when I go through my first big break up, so thank you for writing this in advance.
And i love how your friends threatened to ninja his ass, haha.
Also love the shape of the dress

x

Camilla

intothefoldfashion.blogspot.com

JENNA L. said...

You are so poised and elegant, and any boy would be mad to hurt you. But the reality is we all get hurt, and like you have very maturely acknowledged, the easiest thing, which is sometimes the hardest, is to move on.

And although this is very reminiscent of Mr Eisenberg, I think I would do the same. It's what us girl do best... vent!

And with a smile like that and an incredible attitude, you'll be just fine. Just put on some tunes, smell the daisies and take it in your stride. You're young and smart and no boy should ever stop you from remembering that.

Good luck

x x x
I'm Just a Gal

franca maisha said...

ahw I'm very sorry about the break up... but believe me, you'll find someone way better- someone who won't let go that quik. I know exactly how it feels, truth is though, you'll get over him at some point because you'll realize that what he lost he can't replace! :)

plus, you look absolutely lovely in that dress!!

lots of love!

Anonymous said...

Any boy would be lucky to have you :) You're lovely.

Anonymous said...

While you don't seem to be regretting anything, I just thought that I'd remind you of this quote.

Never regret anything, because at one point it was all that you wanted.

Luisa T. said...

omg, that boots are soo cute <33
love your blog ;)

visit mine: www.flashingstyle.blogspot.com

Aissata said...

love the outfit. I'm so sorry about your breakup. feel better

http://vernisaongle.blogspot.com

Kimberly said...

so sad to hear about the break up as long as you can learn to move on and realize that you have great friends there to support you you can get through it, love the outfit and you look amazing he definitely made a wrong decision you're adorable!

http://kc-citystyle.blogspot.com/

Alexa said...

I'm sorry you had to go through this.. *hugs* Growing up sucks.

www.cashmereandcandy.com

The Urban Fashion Gal said...

Wow thats intense. Boys in high school are dumb. We mature faster and they cant keep up. It seems like it was definitely his fault. You seem like a very calm, balanced person. Keep your head up and there will always be someone better out there. You need to go through a few losers to find your prince charming. Good luck.
P.S. those shoes are fabulous!

chicqua said...

Aww..so sry.hpe u feel better soon
your dress is so lovely.

Jane Alisa said...

Perfect outfit, I love the Chloe boots. xoxo

Rachel1 said...

Aw, good for you! My mom always told me chocolate was the best medicine, and it's good when Aunt Flow decides to come to town. But friends are the best medicine for just about anything and everything else.

I love your boots, they are adorable!

You have to check out www.dearblankpleaseblank.com, it is so funny, a waste of time, but funny!

Bayan Mor said...

firstly honey i'm so sorry :( soon or later you will get better & stronger... having new aims is the best idea to get through this bad situation.. Don't waste your precious time with crying for him :)

greetings from turkey :)
love your chloe's ...

www.bayanmor.blogspot.com

Bayan Mor said...

firstly honey i'm so sorry :( soon or later you will get better & stronger... having new aims is the best idea to get through this bad situation.. Don't waste your precious time with crying for him :)

greetings from turkey :)
love your chloe's ...

www.bayanmor.blogspot.com

ChiccaStyle said...

Beautiful shots and you look amazing!!!Love your dress, so chic!
http://chiccastyle.blogspot.com/

Tofu said...

cute outfit !!!!

the nyanzi report said...

Great pictures and style you've got here.

I've got six sisters and I keep tellnig them this - Being sinlge does not suck.Try it. Don't rush into the next relationship just because you do not want to be alone.

Spend sometime with yourself and find out who you really are so that when the next person comes along, you know excatly what you're after.

Interest and compatibility are key when it comes to choosing partners.

Annie said...

I absolutely adore your blog, & it makes me sad to think of you sad! Be strong <3 And remember time tells all!

Jessica Wu said...

break ups always suck. it hurts to lose someone that's been a huge part of your life for the past few months. but hey, if you really believe you guys are for each other. get him back. but still remember, it's never all your fault; the commencement and the end of any relationship comes from both ends. if not, there will be someone else out there for you. there have been times in my relationship where i truly thought it was all going to fall apart, but we stuck through it and every time we fight, we come out stronger. either way, it'll all work out for the best. it doesn't seem like that now, but it will :] keep your chin held high.

Anonymous said...

You should listen to this episode of "This American Life," it's one of my favorites and it will make you feel better.
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/339/break-up

V said...

so sorry to hear that minnie. break-ups are so difficult and sure can seem like the end of the world. sometimes though, if you approach them with an open mind, it's the universe trying to tell you something. in my case, it was that i wasn't giving the other people in my life (the ones who had been with me forever) the attention they deserved. time is a great healer. good thoughts to you :)

Fashiable said...

Beautiful dress! And I really love your blog, so I am your newest follower :)

http://fashiablee.blogspot.com

Gina Michele said...

Lovely photos. There's nothing like putting on a great outfit to make you feel better =)

http://www.crochetclouds.com/

artviking said...

Be happy, love! You look beautiful and things will only get better.

xo,

thedaughterofaman.blogspot.com

Damsels said...

hope you get to read this ..
i jsut wanted to tell you that ive found that its better to breakup at 5 months than to spend years with the wrong person . just think of it that way. not to say you will regret the experience but there are so many other guys out there . in a way the pain of break ups are good to go through . i know i had my share of excruciating breakups when i was a teenager. and each felt like death. i once spent 3 years getting over a guy. and then wwhen you do you realize oh i can do this . i can break up with a guy and still be okay and better than okay . me and my best friend wwere jsust saying that the other day. there is no guy that could break up with me and make me feel as bad as i used to feel about it back then because i survived and proved to myself that i dont need a relationship . hope that helps

Tine said...

You're so young! Very few people are with the people they were with in high school for their entire life. I felt just like you when I was in HS over a boyfriend, but now after college and grad school I am with someone completely different and perfect for me and we are getting married next year. Chin up!

Anonymous said...

You have chubby legs..just sayin'

Natalya's Closet said...

Sorry to hear about your break-up but something better is just around the corner. Allow yourself to grieve the loss, it's healthy. P.S.: You have so much creativity and beauty to share, I LOVE your blog! XOXO, www.NatalyasCloset.com

Nita -Karoliina said...

beautiful look!


http://nita-karoliina.blogspot.com/2011/04/spring-give-away.html

Chelsea's Girl said...

Love the coin bracelet I have a similar one and am obsessed w/.

http://chelseasgirl.wordpress.com/

http://www.theidea-generator.com/

Midnight Cowgirl said...

Love your shoes! Sorry about the breakup.

holly ann. said...

oh whatever coward said you have chubby legs is an asshole. you weigh like... 90 pounds max? stay lovely, love.

ZIbaKhatibiRawJewelry said...

Your absolutely gorgeous! Keep your head up sweetie, I know its hard xo

Sweet Rustic said...

I'm sorry to hear about your break up, I hope you find happiness.

Probably not the best timing but I'm stopping by my fav style blogs to ask if anyone wants to ask a question for Belinda Luby a fashion designer who is a new regular contributor on my small blog. Questions can be about fashion,business,sewing,whatever you like. I dont have any comments at all & I'm worried I'll have to ask her all the questions myself lol! Heres the shortened link for if anyone feels inclined to tweet it: http://tinyurl.com/4cjtzjn

Thanks, Katie of Sweet Rustic

http://sweetrustic.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/sweetrustic

Ashlyn said...

Sometimes break ups can be so inspiring. Usually art and poetry are created under duress and I definitely expect wonderful things from you ;). I know you're strong enough to do it, and the first picture in your most recent post is a great metaphor. As a fashion note, I love your dress. Perfection.
Hope all is well.
Ashlyn

Collections said...

Love your braclet. I have a very similar one. The dress is great as well.

I'm having a $100 dollar Shopbop giftcard GIVEAWAY on my blog! Come check it out :) It's open to international bloggers as well.

Collections Giveaway

therealyellowsweater said...

Now that I've read this post, I think I should rephrase my last comment about your breakup. Let me put it this way- Welcome to the freedom that comes from being with yourself. You probably won't remember me saying this (my comment was AGES ago), but I'm 15 too, so I know a little about where your coming from. And while I haven't had any romance this year, I can tell you that there are many benefits in being able to take the time to get to know yourself more deeply. You'll have time to pursue new interests and grow creatively, definitely, and you'll be stronger and more at peace with things too. We're young, we still have to discover and be happy with ourselves before we can fully be with someone. Sorry about the long comment, but I'm a big fan of the blog and I wanted to show my support.

therealyellowsweater said...

Ps Your shoes are stellar :)

Fabain said...

That is just amazing, no other stupid word to say it.
Some of the best pics I have seen in a long, long time.

Your german connection!!!

Florence said...

awesome blog

check mine out! i'm 17!

www.fantailflo.com

Rosy (of Raindrops on Rosy) said...

i'm sorry about the break up. really sorry - its sad when it happens. I know how you feel about "couldnt imagine myself with anyone but him" i've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and I think i would feel the same. there is a tiny miniscule bright side....I think you look adorable;)

legesilo said...

Excellent post I must say.. Simple but yet interesting and engaging.. Keep up the awesome work!

clomid

cellulite cream review said...

Sorry to hear about your break up. It's painful but don't dwell on the negative for it will bring you no good. Just look at the bright side of life and you will eventually get through it... I'm sure. Anyway you are young and you will find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. :)

Miss Cossey said...

Love the dress.
you're super cute!